The Marriage Question

All day, when I tell people I'm from America, they respond, "America, #1!," I've responded with, "No, Brazil #1!" They crack up.

I've had a second offer of camels! My taxi driver floated the figure of 500 camels. I've decided that unless the suitor wears glasses and likes (or preferably owns) cats, there is no amount of camels or sheep that could tempt me to accept him.

I turned him down, explaining that I am married. In response to his persistent questions, I filled in the rest of the story:

* I came to Luxor alone (had already told him that and it was rather obvious)
* My husband was flying this evening from Paris to Cairo, where I would meet him in the morning
* My husband is French, and we live in Paris
* My husband is very handsome, looks just like George Clooney
* We have been married for three years
* Our first child is due at Christmas

I was debating whether my husband should be a professional wrestler with an anger-management problem or a high-ranking government official when the line of questioning thankfully stopped.

I don't like lying, I really don't. But I'm a lot more uncomfortable with the prospect of being easy prey for someone to take me somewhere or do something to me because they know I'm alone and unprotected. I may not actually enhance my safety by telling people that a big, scary man is expecting to see me and will come looking for me, but I feel a little safer and that's just as important.

And, after telling the story a few times, I'm growing very attached to my pretend husband.

Plus, it's much less awkward than the various responses I get when I tell them that I'm single with no children: "Why are you not married?" "Why no children?" "You are too picky!" "What are you waiting for?" "You are too old!" And there is really no way to come back from that. An explanation ("You wouldn't be saying that if you had met my exes") sounds bitter, a deflection ("I was waiting for you!") is too risky, and a retort ("Well, if you could find someone, there's hope for us all") is just unnecessary.